I am going to share a story with you that it very personal for me; however, the message is so critical that I believe it is valuable for me to do so.
Yesterday my son, Aslan, came home from visiting his aunt, uncle and cousins who live in Buenos Aires. As I was waiting for him to arrive through the international terminal at MIA with his grandmother, I felt a distinct sense of tension. At first I identified this as excitement. It seemed reasonable after almost a month apart. I literally could hardly wait to see him come through those doors. When he finally did appear with his beautiful curly hair (yes that is him above), I had a feeling which truly surprised me. It was an overwhelming feeling of relief. As I smothered him with hugs and kisses and tickles I could feel my whole being relax. It was like it was saying: “everything is going to be alright.”
It’s now been just over 24 hours since that moment, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about why the feeling was relief? Why not love, joy, peace? Why was the feeling one of relief? As a student of my own mind I know that feelings are always a direct consequence of thoughts and beliefs which must come first. And relief is a feeling triggered by fear. So the question I had for myself was, what was I afraid of?
I found some obvious things, like being afraid that immigration would find a reason to deny entry to his grandmother who is from Senegal and traveling on a visa. Could be it, but this is not really rational with respect to my son and his grandmother.
Could it be that I just didn’t believe he was okay until I saw him for myself? Maybe. Could it be that I was afraid he wouldn’t remember me or be as in love with his daddy as he was when he left? Maybe. But more likely it was just a moment which highlighted intense emotions and thus triggered some of the underlying fear of life which I have yet to work through. And in that sense it was truly a gift.
No matter what the specific cause, I can tell you that the feeling of relief (release of the fear) was better than anything I could have imagined at that moment. The release of whatever little nagging fears I had, which had intensified and culminated in those few moments before he came through those doors literally brought me to tears.
So why am I sharing this story with you? Because I realized that the underlying motivation for so much of what we all do is fear. As I talk to dozens of people every week about their personal situations, consulting them on what types of asset protection are available to them, what I am really doing is holding their hand as they sit at their own personal gate waiting for something to come through it, just like I was with my son.
And knowing that, I also know that many of them don’t really need asset protection. What they need is a release from the power of their fear. For 95% of the people who call me, they are not prudently taking proactive steps to rationally hedge against a legal system which they have analyzed and determined needs action. This is a rationale. They are simply seeking someone to tell them “everything is going to be okay.”
And everyday I find myself telling them just that. Everything is going to be okay. Not because I have the secret magic weapon and can do the impossible. In fact, most of the people I talk to never even become clients. And I am not telling them that because I have analyzed their case and can say confidently that they have nothing to worry about. Most of the time I can’t truly know if they have anything to worry about.
I am telling them that because I simply believe it. With all my heart I know that no matter what they end up going through, everything really will be okay. I tell them the story of a client who lost everything only to have him tell me 2 years later, “Doug thank God I went through that experience.” I remind them that it is not their planning, not their skill, not their shrewd choice of the best lawyer, none of that which will get them through what they are experiencing. It is faith. Faith in a belief which only they can choose. The belief that “everything is and always has been okay, no matter what appearances may say.”
In the end that is what we all need to know. And if their is One Truth which I choose to believe over all others is it just that. “I am okay, now and always.”
And I want you to know that I know you are too.
Douglass Lodmell
Photo: Nami Dadlani
Hi Doug,
A lot of your readers, like us, are not doctors or dentists with big income or bank accounts but we still need affordable protection. I’m sure many, like us, are retired, having worked hard all our lives to have our homes paid for and some pension and savings to help carry us through since we are not getting anymore annual cost of living increases on social security or govt pension. Do you have affordable plans that would still protect us in case of a lawsuit. We’re not high risk like a medical professional but need to protect our little remaining assets. Also, if the cap and trade bill passes, there’s good reason to believe none of us will be able to sell our homes without huge retrofitting to meet high demands of govt. Wouldn’t it be prudent to have our homes in a corp or llc or something so we sell that and not the home and no record of transferring a deed triggering the inspections required. I think you get the idea what I’m saying. We are legal guardians of a 17 yr old grandson. Thank you. Betty
Betty,
This is a really good question and you are right there are a lot of people just like you who do need some type of protection. The answer is yes, there are more affordable ways to protect your assets. Some include simply making sure that you take advantage of all of the asset protection already available to you through State and Federal law. How much of that will apply depends on how you hold your assets. Additionally, using a Limited Partnership which is designed specifically for asset protection is a very reasonable first step. It can do a great job of securing assets for about a quarter of the cost of a full offshore asset protection plan. Again depending on your asset picture that may be more than enough. I recommend that you get a specific analysis of your case. It’s hard to know what the right approach is without understanding your specific situation. But YES there are reasonable ways for you to protect what you have.